Making Sense of Fear and Anxiety After Trauma: A Therapist’s Guide To Coping
- Dhwani Joshi
- Jun 24
- 5 min read
Our nervous systems are intelligent and beautifully designed to protect us. Without any conscious thought, our bodies respond to potential threats through automatic survival responses—a primitive system that has ensured human survival for centuries. One of the core ways we experience this protection is through the emotion of fear.
Alongside fear, many trauma survivors also experience anxiety, sometimes even more persistently. Anxiety, like fear, is a response to threat. But while fear is usually tied to a specific, immediate danger, anxiety tends to be more generalized. It’s the feeling that something bad might happen, even if we’re not sure what or why.
Long after the trauma is over, fear and anxiety can continue showing up. They become like alarm bells stuck in the “on” position, sounding off even when there’s no immediate danger. This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your nervous system is still trying to protect you, even if the danger is no longer present.
The Function of Fear and Anxiety
Fear is a survival emotion that kept our ancestors safe from life-threatening situations. It activates our nervous system and prepares us to either confront, escape, or freeze in response to danger. It’s clear, quick, and intense.
Anxiety is often less direct, it can feel like persistent unease, restlessness, racing thoughts, tension, or a constant sense that something is off or unsafe. After trauma, anxiety can arise as your brain and body stay on high alert, scanning for any signs that the past danger could repeat.
You might notice:
A racing heart or shortness of breath
Difficulty concentrating or relaxing
Avoidance of certain people, places, or situations
Intrusive thoughts or a sense of dread that won’t go away
Both fear and anxiety are responses to perceived threat. And after trauma, your body may respond to even small cues (a smell, a sound, a memory) as if the threat is happening all over again.
Both emotions sharpen our senses, mobilize us to act quickly, and ultimately help preserve our safety. They are not fundamentally “bad” emotions, they’re necessary!
When fear is activated, our nervous system initiates the fight, flight, or freeze response.
This is an automatic survival mechanism:
Fight kicks in when we believe we can confront the threat.
Flight urges us to escape.
Freeze occurs when neither option feels possible. Our body goes still, conserving energy and waiting for danger to pass.
In animals, the freeze response is often followed by a discharge of that energy, like shaking or running once the danger is gone. But for humans, especially those with trauma histories, that energy often gets stuck. The body doesn’t always get the message that the threat is over. This can lead to ongoing feelings of fear, hypervigilance, and anxiety even in the absence of real danger.
When Fear and Anxiety Don’t Switch Off
The fight, flight, or freeze response is designed to protect us. But when it keeps getting activated—when the trauma is long over but your body still feels unsafe—this can lead to chronic fear and anxiety. It’s not that your system is “broken”, it’s that it hasn’t yet learned that the danger has passed.
Healing involves helping your nervous system recalibrate, so it can begin to differentiate between past and present, threat and safety.
Supportive Strategies for Coping with Fear and Anxiety
Here are some strategies to soothe and regulate your system when fear or anxiety feels overwhelming:
Grounding
Fear and anxiety often pull us into the past or launch us into catastrophic future thinking. Grounding brings us back to the present moment and allows you to send a signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to come out of survival mode.
One simple yet powerful grounding tool is the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, which uses your senses to help interrupt anxious spirals and reconnect with your surroundings. It invites you to gently name:
5 things you can see: Take a look around and notice five things in your environment. These can be ordinary or more detailed. For example a shadow on the wall, a pattern on the rug, a chair in the room, or the shape of your hands.
4 things you can hear: Tune in to the sounds around you. This might include the hum of your air conditioner, birds chirping outside, distant traffic, or the sound of your breath.
3 things you can feel (or touch): Bring attention to physical sensations such as your feet on the floor, your clothing against your skin, or the warmth of a cup of coffee in your hands.
2 things you can smell: Take a breath and notice any scents nearby. If nothing is obvious, gently seek out a smell such as a scented lotion, a cup of fruity tea, or even your clothing.
1 thing you can taste: You can seek out something small like a mint, a sip of water, or a bite of a fruit to engage this final sense.
Cooling Down the Nervous System
Cold stimulation can help bring the body out of a panic state and into regulation. It’s a simple way to slow down a fired up nervous system. Some accessible ways to use cold temperature include:
Holding an ice cube in your hand and noticing its texture and sensation as it melts
Splashing cold water on your face
Stepping outside into cool air for a few breaths
Grabbing a bag of frozen peas, an ice pack, or even a cold can of soda and pressing it gently against your chest, neck, or wrists
These small sensory shifts can help interrupt a spiral of fear or panic and bring your body back into the present moment.
Connection and Co-Regulation
When anxiety or fear feel overwhelming, the presence of another person, especially someone calm, grounded, and emotionally safe can have a powerful regulating effect on your nervous system. This is known as co-regulation (more on this in a future blog post), and it’s a reminder that we are wired for connection!
In moments of distress, you don’t have to manage it all on your own. Even a few minutes of authentic connection with someone who feels safe can help you feel more grounded and less alone. You might consider reaching out to a close friend, a support group in your area, a family member or even a therapist who offers a non-judgemental space to process your experience.
Self-Validation
Instead of pushing the anxiety or fear away, try validating it. Honoring your fear and anxiety with compassion can shift the way they impact you. Some examples of self-validating statements can sound like:
“Of course I feel anxious! My body is remembering something painful.”
“This fear is trying to protect me, even if it’s showing up at the wrong time.”
"It is perfect normal and ok to feel these feelings, especially given what I have been through"
My Final Thoughts
Ultimately, fear and anxiety take time to shift, especially after trauma and long after the traumatic event(s) have passed. Recovery isn’t linear, and there’s no “perfect” timeline for healing. What matters is your relationship with your fear and anxiety which can be cultivated through learning to listen, soothe, and support yourself, even when those emotions feel intense. Doing so may just soften the intensity of these emotions. And most importantly, meet yourself with gentleness. You are not broken. You’re healing from something your body never should’ve had to endure!
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